Blue Waters
by zephyr raine
Summary: What if a kiss could cause you to lose everything...
1. Fallen

Disclaimer: None of the FoR characters belong to me, and neither does Linkin Park's lyrics for Runaway.

Graffiti decorations

Under a sky of dust

A constant wave of tension

On top of broken trust

The lessons that you taught me

I learned were never true

Now I find myself in question

[They point the finger at me again]

Guilty by association

[You point the finger at me again]

I wanna run away

Never say good-bye

I wanna know the truth

Instead of wondering why

I wanna know the answers

No more lies

I wanna shut the door

And open up my mind

- Runaway \ Linkin Park

_It's been a week now, since I saw those two girls along the street. One had brown hair, the other, purple hair. So familiar, yet so strange._

_I know I haven't been sleeping well, but why haven't I?_

**_Blue Waters_**

_Chapter One_

**_Fallen_**

_What are these images?_

A brown haired girl falling

And falling.

Over and over.

_Tokiya-chan…_

_Mikagami-sempai…_

Falling.

_No, I'm falling_

I long to scream out loud, yet the cries in my head are denied realization.

*

"What's wrong?"

She grabbed a hold of him. He was screaming in his sleep. _Again._

"Wake up. Please wake up."

He gasped as he opened his eyes. Slowly he panted for air. His heart was beating too fast.

"What's wrong?"

"I dreamt of a girl, a girl with brown hair. And I watched, as she fell, and then fell again. And then I started to fall."

"No. Not again. When will it stop?"

He hesitated to speak, for her agony was unknown to him.

When he finally spoke, his voice was confused.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean: 'not again'?"

_Again. The dream? Yes, I know. It's so familiar. But I don't remember ever having that dream before._

"It doesn't matter. Please, go back to sleep. It will be alright in the morning."

She hugged him tightly and placed a reassuring kiss on his lips.

"It will be alright."

She watched as he closed his eyes and reentered his broken slumber.

In the darkness of the night, she looked out his balcony.

_Why? This should not be happening. It's the third time this week he's had that dream._

She watched him sleep.

_You cannot have these dreams anymore._

***

"Good morning. How was your sleep?"

"Alright.

But I feel like I was awake half the night."

"Did you have any dreams? That could be the cause."

"No. None I can remember."

"That's good." She snuggled against him.

"I love you so much."

"As I you."

"I could never go on without you." Her words appealed reassurance.

"But I'm not going anywhere."

"That's good."

_Because I won't let you anyway. I need you too much._

*** ***

"What's this?" She peered over at what he was scribbling.

"Nothing." It really wasn't of any importance, just something that had popped into his head. Wait, no, popped wasn't the right word. It had always just been _there_.

"Mizu. Kagami. Tou. Ki. Ya."

"Actually, I intended it to be Mikagami Tokiya. It's just a name that recurs in my mind."

"Do you know him?"

"No. Do you?"

She gave no answer to the question. Instead, "Can I have that sheet of paper?"

"Sure."

"I have to go now, love. I'll see you later." She gave him a quick kiss before she left.

He touched his lips and smiled, she was always so affectionate.

Then he noticed the pen in his hand. _What was I writing before she came in?_

He pondered for a moment, then decided that if he couldn't recall, then it wasn't anything of importance.

*** ***

_No. Not again._

_Again?_

_But I've never had this dream before._

_Then why does it feel like I have?_

It's only a dream, I know…

but it still seems so real.

A brown haired girl.

Falling.

_Again._

_So familiar, yet so strange._

Over and over

The girl was crying out to him.

_Mikagami Tokiya, I know that she will cry it out. I know I've heard the name before._

_I just can't recall where._

_Tokiya-chan…_

Falling.

I'm falling.

_Don't cry…_

I see a purple haired girl, her eyes reassuring.

Don't cry out.

There's something more I must see.

So I don't. I will not cry out. Not even in my mind. Because those screams will be the loudest.

I stop falling.

The scene begins to repeat itself.

But I now see the cause.

A hooded man moves to strike her.

I move to pull the hood away.

_Sensei_

I know him. But who is he?

_I want to understand…_

I want to understand.

_Mikagami-sempai…_

The same girl.

_Give her back_

It's me speaking.

_No. Not unless I have what I want, what I need._

I've heard this voice before. But I can't see the speaker.

_You will not have him. I will not let you. _

The one with purple hair speaks.

The girl with the brown hair.

Falls.

_No._

Why do I cry out? Who is she to me?

_I will go with you._

_Please Tokiya. Don't._

_Don't you see? I have no choice._

I walk towards where the formless abductor stands. Beyond it, a mist has risen.

The faceless voice.

_I am a lady of my word. Him for the girl. She is yours._

The purple haired girl rushes to the other.

She looks at me.

The pain in her eyes stings.

_Please, you must find some way to come back._

_Come back to us._

_Come back to me._

I nod.

Sorrow courses through me as I walk towards the mist.

_I will come for you._

_Not if you cannot._

_I will._

_I must._

I ask her.

_Why do you care so much?_

_I never told you._

_I love you, Tokiya._

_I love you._

_Remember that._

_Even if you lose everything else,_

_Remember that alone._

_Not if you cannot._

The familiar yet alien voice, again.

She falls, her purple hair covering her face.

And I know, she has lost. They both have.

_He is mine. And you _cannot_ take him away._

The mist engulfs me. Her lips press against mine.

The pain I feel has vanished.

And then I too, know that _I have lost_.

*** ***

For the first time in a week, I know why I did not sleep well.

The dream.

I will mention it to no one.

It is far too strange.

The words in my dream.

_I want to understand._

_I have lost._

_Come back to me._

_Please._

_            What … I need._

The desperation in her voice. So familiar.

_                        I need you._

No. It can't be her.

She loves me.

_I love you._

The girls, I've seen them before. On the street. When our eyes met, I know we both felt we knew each other. But there was no real recognition. Only a glimmer.

_Was it a past life?_

He still heard her voice.

_I love you._

***

_Fragments of a picture seem to come together. Then just as I am about to find the missing link, the one which may allow me to see the whole picture, to complete it, something happens. The fragments scatter. Some are lost, or perhaps hidden. _By someone.

Author's note: I know this sounds like Miasma, and for that I am sorry.

Please review this for me and tell me what you think of it and where you feel it is going or what direction you think it should take.

Also, a point on a phrase in the dream:

_            I want to understand…_

In vol 27 of the manga, Mikagami is asked whether he's looking for his sensei for _revenge_ alone.

And he answers: _Things are no longer what they were. I'm doing it to understand the truth._

_                        I want to understand…_


	2. Fear

Disclaimer: None of the FoR characters belong to me.

_Chapter Two_

**_Fear_**

_My legs, leading me on, to where_

_I know not._

Wander around aimlessly.

And then, in the distance, he spots them.

Purple juxtaposed with brown.

I race after them.

_I want to understand…_

"Is that you?"

He turns around, to see his beloved staring at him.

_What is he doing, breaking out into a run on the streets?_

His beloved staring past him.

At the two girls.

Her eyes reveal a flash of pure fear.

"No. It can't be."

Before he can question, she is already unable to answer.

He picks up the collapsed body and returns.

***

He walked into the room to check if she had awakened

And to find some answers.

_Who were those girls to cause you such grief?_

"No! They'll take you away from me again.

Please.

Don't leave me."

She screamed in her sleep.

At first, he was taken aback by her sudden cry,

But quickly regaining his composure, he stroked her head,

            and holding the sleeping girl's hand, tried to soothe her frazzled nerves.

"Don't worry. I won't leave you.

I'll stay here,

by your side."

In her sleep, she shook her head, tears glinting at the corners of her eyes.

"That's what you said the last time. But they took you away.

Away from me.

_She_ took you away."

_What is she talking about?_

"Who took me away? How?"

"No. I don't want to talk about her; she caused me so much pain. And she hurt you as well."

"How did she hurt me?"

She seemed not to have heard the question.

"She took you away from me.

Please don't leave me.

Please."

Her hand tightened around his.

A stream of tears flowed down her cheek.

His eyes burned with his own. Seeing her like this pained him.

And her next words shocked him to no bounds.

"Please, Tokiya, I need you."

***

She seemed to be in a world of her own.

_A world of the past._

*** ***

"Who am I to you? Tell me."

The harshness of his voice shocked her.

"Just what am I to you?"

Silence.

When she found her voice,

"Everything."

"Then tell me the truth. Tell me.

Why…

you called me Tokiya…

Why…

I already know that name…

Why…

I dream of him…

Why…

I dream _as_ him…"

She countered his request with a question.

"Do you really wish to know?

From here on there is no turning back.

Would you forget your quest for the truth?

For my sake.

_For me._"

"I'm sorry, but I need to know.

Tell me the truth.

_I want to understand…_"

She sighed painfully.

"I cannot give you the truth.

You would not believe me.

You must find it on your own.

_You_ must discover your own reality."

She paused.

"_Til then…_

_I_ shall vanish from _your_ reality."

The boy stared at her, confused.

"And _when you do…_

I will be _waiting_ for you.

When you find the truth,

You will find me waiting…"

"Where?"

"_If you find the past,_

You will know where."

"I don't understand.

Why must you leave me?

Will you not help me?"

He implored her to stay.

"If you truly desire the truth,

then I _must_ leave you.

If you wish to understand,

then you must understand _alone_.

And _when_ you find the past,

you will understand _why_.

Now leave,

before you _cannot_."

She watched him walk out of the room.

"And do not turn back."

He stopped at the doorway.

"Can you at least tell me something that will aid me.

Anything."

"Bring a bouquet of roses to this venue the day after tomorrow."

She held a piece of paper before him, but remained hidden from him, from his sight.

He took her hand and kissed it gently.

"And before we part, tell me:

_Who is Mikagami Tokiya?_"

She immediately drew back her hand.

"The love of my life."

_Was that a hint of anguish he heard in her voice?_

"Then what am I to you?"

He seemed sad to hear her reply.

"The answer you seek lies within your quest."

You must find it alone.

She whispered into his ear from behind.

"Now go."

He left the room.

_There was _no_ turning back._

To only the wind she whispered.

_"Til we meet again, my love…_

_At the blue waters…_

_til then."_

And then she was gone.

*** ***

There was a time I feared…

            …your memory would take you from me.

_But the veil has been burnt…_

_            Now I fear if you do not recall…_

_                        …I shall lose you forever._

Author's note: To everyone who has reviewed for me, thank you. And more comments please.

I'm sorry if the story has been confusing,

But perhaps, from the next chapter onwards, _you_ will begin to understand.


	3. Prayer

Disclaimer: FoR does not belong to me.

_Chapter Three_

**_Prayer_**

_A bouquet of roses…_

Now,

here,

he was…

He closed his eyes,

            trying to grasp reality.

_I don't understand, my love._

_What are you trying to tell me?_

He scanned the area.

And then he saw the girl with purple hair kneeling before a tombstone.

_Did you know she would be here, my love?_

And then the inscription on the tablet of stone caught his eye.

_This place…_

_is_

_where the house of Mikagami is laid to rest._

The roses hit the ground.

The boy fell to his knees.

_No. It can't be real._

_Is this what she was trying to tell me?_

_He's dead._

_Is this why she sent me to this cemetery?_

_A bouquet of roses…_

_It's true then,_

_He is…_

_the love of her life._

_How could you do this to me?_

_You told me to find the truth,_

_yet everything you told me was a lie._

You never loved me.

*

His eyes burned as he tried to blink back his tears.

And then he heard her voice.

_Don't cry…_

That phrase.

His dream.

_I want to understand._

_There is still so much I don't know,_

_Don't comprehend._

_The girl with the purple hair._

_She _must _be a part of it._

As he approached her,

            he made a _prayer_ in his heart.

_Please,_

_            let her have some answers._

*** ***

The purple-haired girl turned to face him.

A glimmer of recognition.

_It can't be…_

She watched as he walked over to her.

_You can't be real._

As he stood before her,

She reached up to cup his cheek in her hand.

"You've come back.

After all this time, you've come back to me.

I should have told you.

I never told you."

"Come back to you?"

He interrupted her, his voice questioning the accuracy of the statement.

She smiled sadly,

"Yes, I realise,

not for me.

For her."

And pointed towards the tombstone

Towards which he walked.

His hand rested on the slab of stone,

Reading the inscription.

"Mikagami Mifuyu."

_Mikagami Tokiya's sister._

_Am I to offer these flowers in place of him?_

"Why did you leave?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You left us.

You left me.

And you never even said goodbye."

She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

"Why?

I love you, Mikagami."

She pressed her lips against his.

Mikagami.

The name struck him like a lightning bolt.

"No.

I am not him.

I can't be him."

_But what if you are?_

Something within him questioned dangerously.

"Then why did you come?

Why did you come here, of all places?

A bouquet of red roses.

Do you remember?

You would bring them for her.

Your beloved nee-chan."

_I don't believe you._

_You are Mikagami._

_You have to be._

_For a sister?_

_Could it be…_

"Tell me,

how did she die?"

"It was your sensei."

_Sensei…_

_…The girl in my dream._

_Falling._

"And there was another,

like her."

"Yanagi. Her name was Sakoshita Yanagi."

_It _is_ you, Mikagami._

*** ***

He continued to gaze at the tombstone as the purple-haired girl watched on silently.

_What is this madness?_

_There is still so much I need to say, my love._

_So much I still need to ask you._

_Even if this girl did know me,_

_There is only so much she can tell._

_I must find you again my love._

And he heard her voice carried by the wings of the wind.

_            If you find the past…_

_                        You will know where…_

_I _will_ find you…_

_            Aoi,_

_            My love_

*

_I only pray I can find the truth…_

Author's note: Does this clear some stuff up? His beloved, is Aoi. She's a manga character. I think that might explain a lot if you've read the manga. Please read and review. I need to know whether it is of any value for me to continue.


	4. Reverie

Disclaimer: None of the FoR characters belong to me.

_Chapter Four_

**_Reverie_**

"Why?"

Her voice

Disturbing

His thoughts.

"Why did you love her?

You left us

Left me

To be with her

Didn't you?"

She flung herself

            Into his arms,

Sobbing

_Her…_

            _…Aoi?_

_Is it?_

_Could it be?_

"I thought you were over her

you had left her behind

forgotten her"

He stared at her,

Perplexed.

His confusion evident.

"I don't understand."

"You promised us.

You said you would leave her

But you left

Us

vanished

I never saw you again"

_What are you telling me?_

He pushed her away.

"You choose to be with her

Why?"

Approached him.

"You knew

and still

You loved her."

She raised her hand to touch his cheek.

It all seemed so unreal.

Her skin brushed his.

He flinched.

Vaguely recalling

Stinging pain.

Pulled away.

Tears glinted in her eyes.

She turned away.

"Tell me.

Is it Aoi you speak of?"

"A-o-i"

Cautiously she repeated it.

"No"

She shook her head

_Then who_…

"No.

Forget her.

It was never meant to be

You know that

Better than I do.

Leave her

Leave the past behind.

Please"

_But I don't know what the past is…_

"Please wake up

Stop living in your dream

Mikagami"

_Those words…_

A single sentence.

Trigger

pulled.

Darkness

Descend

Consume

***

_stinging pain_

Upon my cheek

"Wake up

Mikagami

Stop living in you dream"

"What do you care?"

She turned away from him.

Hesitation.

"For the sake of our safety,

I'm putting you under house arrest.

If you will not come to your senses

Then you will not endanger the rest of us with your folly."

"Get out."

_I don't want to listen to your lies_

*** ***

She watched him

His body

Lying on the ground

Motionless.

*** ***

Through tears

A figure steps through the doorway.

"Don't cry"

Purple hair

Her eyes reassuring

I don't care

"Get out"

"Tokiya

it's me"

I turn to look

She pulls the wig off

It is her

My love

I had thought it was the one I despised.

I smile.

"I will come for you

They cannot keep us apart."

Footsteps come down the hallway.

As she steps out the window,

I kiss her, perhaps for the last time

in a while.

***

I continue staring out the open window

The door opens.

"What was she doing here?"

"Who are you talking about?"

The question was redundant.

And I know it; it taints my words.

"The others remember someone with purple hair coming through,

but they can't remember if it was me.

I can guess as much.

So why did she come?"

***

"It's over Fuuko"

"That's good"

She turned to leave.

_You don't understand_

_you leave me no choice_

_            It's over…_

*** ***

"Give her back"

_I'm sorry to have you involved in this. Yanagi_

_But it's the only way_

"No. Not unless I have what I want

what I need."

"You will not have him.

I will not let you"

Yanagi _falls_

"No

I will go with you."

"Please Tokiya.

Don't."

"Don't you see?

I have no choice"

_I need to get out_

_And this, this is the only way_

_You'll let go_

"I am a lady of my word

Him for the girl

She is yours"

"Please, you must find some way to come back

Come back to us

Come back to me"

I nod.

A lie.

Sorrow courses through me.

I wish things had been different.

_I do not wish to deceive you_

"I will come for you"

"Not if you cannot"

"I will

I must"

"Why do you care so much?"

"I never told you.

I love you, Tokiya"

She falls, purple hair obscuring her face.

_It is the only way_

"He is mine

and you cannot take him away"

I smile at her words,

In gratitude.

"They will not remember."

"Thank you.

I owe them at least that much."

I take her hand.

*** ***

_Nee-chan…_

_…I've come to see you_

"I knew you would come.

You were always so predictable when it came to her"

A sweet smile.

"Why did you come Fuuko?"

"I love you

Isn't that obvious?"

"Don't lie to me.

Or can't you tell the difference

Between

Love

And

Lust."

"I don't care."

She grabbed him and crushed her lips against his.

"Get away from me."

He pushed her away roughly

Wiped his lips in disgust.

Her with the electric blue hair approached.

She caught Fuuko's eye.

"You rigged it, didn't you?"

She looked up at him with hate

Pure

Murderous

Hate

She raised her arm,

And pointed directly at him

Her voice dripped with murderous intent.

"Trai.tor."

The words perfectly enunciated.

Her anger perfectly expressed

As the words escaped her lips.

From her fuujin emerged

Streams

Snaked

Serpents

Spun from her arm,

Spiraling forward

Picked up his body

Twined around him

The way she desired to be

Crushed him

In a twinkling.

She seemed shocked,

Shaking her head

"What have I done?"

Tried to recall them

But failed.

Within her

The hate still burned

"I can't control it."

Watched as he faded

_Faded…_

*** ***

_Living in a dream…_

_            Fading…_

_Is there a difference?_

Author's notes: Forgive me. I have dragged this on for far too long. The tone itself has changed, I feel.

I hope you understand.

Because,

For all this

I really don't know.


End file.
